Blog 28: EoS 13 and 14

Section One:

1. Omit needless words, phrases, or sentences

2. Avoid a loose succession of loose sentences

Section Two and Three:

1a. In this scene Niska’s men stereotype Mal to be a criminal and believe that because has been hired to break the law, he will have no problem stealing again, this time from Niska. 
 

1b. In this scene Niska's men assume that because Mal has already broken the law, he will have no problem stealing from Niska. (33 to 22)

2a.There would be virtually no change in the spectrum of people who have a stereotype on that particular group, because there would be no possible way for everybody who holds that stereotype to find out that the stereotype was disproven.

2b. This would effect a very insignificant amount of people because there is no possible way for everyone who holds a stereotype to find out that it was disproven. (40 to 28)

3a. Had Niska’s men simply waited to see what Mal’s motive was rather than stereotyping him to do the morally wrong thing, they might have avoided the fight, and as a result they may have lived.

3b. Had Niska's men not assumed what Mal would do then they might have lived by avoiding the fight altogether. (35 to 19)