Thursday, November 8, 2012

In Class Blog: Transitions and Topic Sentences


1a.       In just the recent 20th century humankind has achieved many technological advancements such as computers, internet, spacecrafts, and nuclear technologies.
1b.       It is important to look toward the future and regulate technology in a way that it won't become destructive to human lives or the planet.

2a.       The science fiction television series Dollhouse is about a corporation with the ability to access people’s brains and change their memories.
2b.       People then rent these Actives for different reasons.

3a.       Topher Brink was the man to create the Dollhouse technology with the original purpose of giving people temporary skills and personality traits.
3b.       Humans now had the power to transfer their minds to other bodies.

4a.      This technology did not work out well; eventually the technology to infect massive                                            amounts of people at once was developed and entire cities were turned into killing machines.
4b.       In the end a mind restoring technology was created, but the damage to the world was already done.

5a.       This scene from “Epitaph One” is a flashback that involved Adelle DeWitt and Topher Brink.
5b.      Topher climes back in his hole, still breaking down, and begins to cry as Adelle comforts               him ending the scene.

6a.       From this you can see that Topher was not prepared for the outcome of the technology he developed and regrets it very deeply.
6b.       Many people died and society collapsed.   

7a.       During the final scene in "Epitaph One" Mag, Zone, and the mind-imprinted Caroline         climb up the elevator shaft and arrive in Adelle’s old office.
7b.       The scene ends with the group climbing out the window, starting their journey to Safe       Haven.

8a.       This scene shows what the world has come to after the dollhouse technology got out of    control.
8b.       The creators of the technology weren’t careful and the fire of destruction it created          burned the house down, referring to the world.   

9a.       The writers of Dollhouse use the rapid development of the dollhouse technology, from      something seemingly good into something horrible and destructive; to argue that if new fields of study do not have proper foresight and regulation they can get out of hand and cause chaos and destruction.
9b.       Many lives could have been saved and the threat of nuclear attacks would not be around today (Oppenheimer).

10a.     The atomic bomb is really a prime example how new technology can develop at such an            alarming rate that there is no real foresight to predict and consider the consequences it will bring.
10b.     Oppenheimer’s official title on the Manhattan Project was "Coordinator of Rapid Rupture," but he later became known as "father of the atomic bomb” (Oppenheimer).

11a.     In Oppenheimer’s speech to the Association of Los Alamos Scientists on November 2, 1945 he sums up the reasons that this new technology had such a strong impact by saying
11b.     The first being, the world needs to face the potential threat and deal with it, and second, the United States was the most likely to come to a reasonable solution regarding the nuclear weapons (Oppenheimer).

12a.     The points that Oppenheimer brings up are all valid, but should be analyzed from an ethical stand point.
12b.     Last it makes sense that the world should deal with any potential threat from technology, but that potential doesn’t need to be reached in order to figure out how it should be controlled, and it is biased to say that the United States is the best qualified to find a solution.

13a.     Price also writes in his article, “The great tragedy of his life was the decision by the Atomic Energy Commission in 1954 that he was no longer to be trusted as an official adviser with secret information”(1061).
13b.     Many of the other leading scientists on the Manhattan Project also lacked support for the crash program.

14a.     Even after seeing the consequences of such weapons some scientists still did not want    to take the proper precautions or listen to the wisdom of those who had already experienced and led the creation of other nuclear weapons.
14b.     Even in the modern world there is the same threat and a solution hasn’t yet been completely reached.

15a.     Like in the real world example of nuclear weapons, the dollhouse technology has the ability of mass destruction and death.
15b.     The proof that Oppenheimer regrets his technology is the way he tries to prevent further creation of nuclear weapons.

16a.     A scene that shows how they end up dealing with the technology is toward the end of  “Epithaph Two”, where Adelle and Echo are talking.
16b.     He said you should start with the chair.” Adelle walks away and the scene ends.

17a.     This scene shows how the technology was dealt with in the show.
17b.     Cleaning up the side effects of nuclear technology and dismantling the weapons are solutions that can be taken from this scene.

18a.     Instead of analyzing a specific scene, the show in its entirety can be viewed as a warning for what can happen if humans lose control of technology.
18b.     It is the creator’s responsibility to see the possible consequences to best avoid mass destruction due to uncontrolled technology.
           
Part two:
Paragraph 1: No strong relation between a and b. Also no connection to next paragraph.
Paragraph 2: good
Paragraph 3: good
Paragraph 4: No strong connection to next paragraph
Paragraph 5: good
Paragraph 6: Better conclusion that connects to topic sentence.
Paragraph 7: good
Paragraph 8: good
Paragraph 9: a and b don’t connect possibly split paragraphs
Paragraph 10: Add Oppenheimer to the topic
Paragraph 11: a and b don’t connect maybe split up or add to topic
Paragraph 12: good possible revision of b
Paragraph 13: better topic
Paragraph 14: good
Paragraph 15: better conclusion
Paragraph 16: good
Paragraph 17: good
Paragraph 18: good

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