Blog 30: EoS: 17

1a.) For example, in the episode “The Train Job” when Mal has just decided that he wants to return the medicine to the people of Paradiso.  Mal has just returned to the ship and he and his crew are in the cargo hold looking at the stolen medicine. One of the crew members asks Mal what they should tell Niska, the person who hired them to steal the cargo.  Mal says that they can tell Niska that the job went badly when they go to give Niska the payment they received prior to setting out for the mission.  At this point a member of Mal’s crew, Wash, tells Mal that if he wants to tell that story then “Now would be good time.”  Mal turns around to find a group of Niska’s men walking into their cargo bay.  One of Niska’s men points out that they didn’t make the rendezvous, then accuses Mal of trying to steal Niska’s cargo and his money.  Mal quickly dismisses the claim that he was trying to get away with the money and the cargo by saying, “Interestingly, neither.” Niska’s man doesn’t understand what Mal means by this.  From here things get heated and a fight breaks out between the crew of the Serenity and Niska’s men. Mal is facing defeat when a member of his crew shoots the man that was about to kill him in the leg.  Mal then returns the medicine, which is elaborated on more later in this essay, and the final scene is Mal talking to Niska’s last remaining man.  Niska’s man is tightly tied up on the ground.  Mal holds up a wad of all the money Niska paid them in advance and tells Niska’s man to return it to Niska.  Niska’s man spits in disgust at this request and mal attempts to reason with the man by saying, “We’re not thieves.  Well, we are thieves. Point is, we’re not taking what’s his.”  Niska’s man continues to refuse so Mal pushes him in front of their ship’s engine and he gets sucked in and is killed.

1b.) The highlighted parts need to be in the present.


2a.)Mal isn’t just dealing with stereotypes from Niska’s men, he is also in a simultaneous conflict with the sheriff of Paradiso.  In this scene Mal and Zoe, one of his shipmates who helped him steal the cargo, are riding an ATV with cargo attached to the back along a dirt road at night.   The two stop and get off the ATV and Mal says that they should drag the cargo from where they stopped, and leave it just off of the street.  Mal then says that they can call and notify the sheriff where the cargo is once they’re safely away in space, at which point the sheriff comes out of hiding and says, “Why not tell him in person?”  The sheriff and his deputies then all come out and inform Mal that they had received word of a ship just outside of town.  One of the deputies then begins inspecting the cargo they had brought back while the sheriff talks directly to Mal and says, “Didn’t expect to see you comin’ back.”  Mal then says that he didn’t expect to be coming.  At this point the deputy has finished checking the cargo and informs the sheriff that nothing is missing from the medicine supply.  The sheriff then ponders for a second and says (referring back to an earlier scene) that Mal told the truth back in town and that these are hard times.  The sheriff then says, “A man can get a job.  He might not look too close at what that job is.  But a man learns all the details to a situation like ours (referring to the town of Paradiso and the disease that plagues it)…well…then he has a choice.”  To this Mal responds by saying, “I don’t believe he does.”  At this point the sheriff simply says to his deputies that they should move the crates back to town and Mal and Zoe return to their ship.
2b.) Highlighted part should be in present tense and also need to eliminate the wordiness of the sentence